(Afterthought: This was rather easy to write. I finished the piece with a smile on my face assuming it would be a bit eye opening for some of my readers.)
Recently I’ve crossed into the triple digits since my last act of intercourse and without that moment of vulnerability the first digit may be a 2 by the time I publish this. Surprising to hear from a young male isn’t it? How do I view sex differently now?
Nothing has changed. I’m still very selective in people and situations. I’ve discovered my motivation in what keeps me so picky. I want to be a person of significance. All the sex I’ve turned down in this period was more than likely because there wasn’t a seductive theme around it. Where’s the love? Where’s the danger? I need something else, another element, a theme or something to digest and get my blood running. We artsy people love our external factors; scenes, roles, settings, motif. I view life as a movie. I want mine as theme filled and emotionally charged powerful as possible. That feeling of significance is the x factor. I’ve realized that lust doesn’t do it alone.
Those infamous “titles” that we either love or hate provide that validation when we can’t see for ourselves what exactly it is. Your title clarifies your role and significance to a person. The difference between a booty call and being a guilty pleasure is what? One sounds more desired and important than the other. A bae/boo or a lover? We all know what we’re looking for, but many just don’t know what to call it.
The 100’s have shown me how importance affection is. When you get it often the desire for more crosses your mind often, if it’s good. When you don’t get it, the desire for it still crossed the mind often. I’ve changed my feelings about dominance. It’s something to treasure. Without that person in your life, there’s nothing in this world to give you that feeling. Humans are the dominant species on this planet. We can leave our homes and practice our domination and destruction on anything natural in this world, but it doesn’t feel like anything when compared to dominant/submissive intercourse with another human. When I lust now, I fantasize more about being of service than actually being the lead. I’m more likely to think of someone and want my face between their legs than my dick. I feel that’s a result of not having the alluring memory of dominance fresh on the mind and a desire to provide the other will that significant feeling.
These 100’s are strange. The lust is stronger. The desire is exponential. Every act of interest has a much more powerful effect on me. All my decisions have a sense of extreme importance implication. I’ve never schemed and strategized my interactions with women as diligently and cautiously as I have in this last 100. I like this mindset I’ve developed. Even when the count resets and I don’t have to worry about these things I know I have to ability. 100’s of days of character building.
Rethink your “drought.”